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The Ugly Truth About Online Dating -

The Pros and Cons of Online Dating - Psychology Talk 5

Viren Swami does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. Some time ago, I found myself single again shock, horror! But too often those opinions were based on anecdotes, assumptions about human behaviour I knew to be wrong, or - worse - pure misogyny. As a psychologist who has studied attraction, I felt certain that science could offer a better understanding of romantic attraction than all the self-help experts, pick-up artists and agony aunts in the world. And so I began researching the science of how we form relationships.

And my own research has shown that love sometimes really is blind.


People in romantic relationships, particularly new relationships, are biased in how they perceive their partners. Third, it seems that we like people who like us.

Apr 30,   Learn to use the features of dating online to your advantage. Research can tell you when and how to date online. is a doctor of social and personality psychology, with a focus on influence. Mar 18,   While most 20th-century couplings were either formed in workplaces and colleges or through friends and families, online dating sites and dating . Ever tried online dating?Early research suggests that men present themselves as wealthier, taller, and with more hair. Women, on the other hand, are thought to present themselves as blonder.

This idea of reciprocity may sound very simple, but it has incredibly important implications for all relationships. Chat-up lines may sound like a bit of fun, but all romantic relationships are built on reciprocal self-disclosure - the mutual exchange of intimate information with a partner.

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Deciding when and how to disclose intimate information to a new partner is an important part of every romantic relationship and can be the difference between an honest, healthy relationship or a closed, stunted one. Also, playing hard-to-get almost never works.

Giving the impression of dislike is unlikely to spark attraction because it goes against the grain of reciprocity. Finally, despite what many people think, opposites very rarely attract.


In fact, decades of research has shown that attraction is most likely to be sparked when two people perceive themselves as being very similar to each other.

But similar how?

Love is blind

It could be similarity in terms of sociodemographics - most relationships are formed between people who are similar in terms of age, social class, occupational background, and so on.

But more important than sociodemographics is similarity of values - everything from musical tastes to political orientation.

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But when someone agrees with us, they validate our worldviews and as result we want continuing contact with that person. Knowing all this, is it possible to predict with any accuracy whether two people will form a stable relationship?

Not only that, but online dating has also opened up a plethora of options that may not have existed when traditional dating was the norm - in fact, a recent study found that 53of internet users agreed online dating makes it easier for people to find a better match because they . Oct 31,   Online dating is too new to truly study generational effects; however, over the past decade 1 out of 4 people 18 and older have tried online dating. For some people it Author: Psychology Behind. Mar 31,   The Psychology of Dating by Michael Bond, BSc | March 31, In this age of rationality and endless data, intuition is often looked upon as an inferior means of problem-solving.

Probably not. One the difficulties with these sorts of predictions is that relationships are complex and often messy.

For a start, relationships are stressful and stress can sometimes make us behave in strange ways.

All of this makes it difficult to know in advance how relationships will turn out in advance. Viren Swami is speaking on Attraction explained: The science of how we form relationships, at the Cambridge Science Festival.

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YorkTalks - York, York. Sun-powered flight: How gliders work - York, York. Edition: Available editions United Kingdom.

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Syda Productions. Viren SwamiAnglia Ruskin University. In most cases, people determine whether a potential partner is attractive, evaluate whether they would be categorized as more, less or equally attractive and then decide whether to move forward based on this information.

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Interested in learning more about relationships and the psychology behind them? If so, you may want to consider pursuing a degree in psychology. An example of a career in psychology is marriage and family therapists, who help to treat couples and families who are going through emotional or behavioral problems.

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InMatch. Not only that, but year olds are just as likely to date online as year olds!

Psychology and dating online

You may or may not be familiar with documentary and TV show Catfish, which chronicles the very real problem and devastating consequences of deception in online dating. Online dating gives people the unique opportunity to curate their public persona, whether that be with the use of outdated photos or by reporting inaccurate facts about themselves.

Online dating - the psychology (and reality) A science writer explores dating sites like, Tinder, eHarmony and Chemistry, interviewing experts along the way By David Levine Posted on 12 February When my marriage ended 11 years ago, I went online. I hadn't dated in over 20 years. Jan 30,   The Psychology of Modern Dating How online dating is changing our fundamental interpersonal processes. Posted Jan 30,

Check out our infographic above to see more interesting stats on the Psychology of Online Dating! Skip to main content. EducationDynamics maintains business relationships with the schools it features.

Online dating - the psychology (and reality)

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